The Saturday Letter: Unexpected awe.

#009: It’s always what you didn’t think that changes you.

Hello and happy June from a flight over the country. I think I’m hovering somewhere above Kansas. I’m very cold. But the thought of you is keeping me warm!

I realized Dan and I do this thing where we almost never leave New York on a holiday weekend if it’s not toward the end of the calendar year. It’s not intentional, but it also isn’t unintentional. Holiday flight prices are sky-high, and we like a quieter city every once in a while.

So the Saturday before Memorial Day, we hunkered down and embraced plans to do something between nothing and something. I ended up at the New York Historical for hours with my best friend, Shelby, sharing a banana espresso muffin and a latte, buying too many things from the gift shop, and taking in Arlene Gottfried’s photographs of strangers and friends around a 1980’s New York City. I absolutely love the Historical. It’s my favorite museum in the city for a number of reasons. And that day, I departed back into the city sun emotional from the one exhibit I did not intend to care about at all.

On the way out, letters behind thick glass displays caught my eye. I read one, then two, then three, then ended up accidentally horseshoeing my way through the bright-orange exhibit in reverse. It was letters to an owl.

I was baffled. I like animals, but don’t consider myself an animal person. Nonetheless, by the third letter, I was teary. These neighbors of mine I pass on the subway and in the bodega and on the street were pouring their hearts out to an owl who passed away when it crashed into a window thinking it was an opening on the Upper West Side.

I read these words from pedestrians, left at a makeshift memorial on a city street, about how spotting him peacefully resting in his favorite tree in the park amidst a life-threatening depression saved them, or how a little girl who visited him often was sad he didn’t have a chance to marry his girlfriend owl, or how he visited someone’s window and comforted her after her mother died.

Admittedly, I had heard Flaco’s name before, but I didn’t know the full story. I didn’t put two and two together that this is the owl someone illegally freed from the Central Park Zoo who soon appeared on the sidewalk of Fifth Avenue; who wouldn’t get back in the cage sat down for him by police while strangers looked on; who was unaccustomed to flying long distances and in strong winds because he’d spent his whole life in enclosure but who learned; who was unsuccessfully recaptured during more than one attempt with owl calls by the zoo and later determined the likelihood of recapture was not high since he had already learned to soar and hunt and encounter new situations for the first time without anyone to guide him. He lived for a little over one year in the wild.

Flaco’s story is a moving one. But what I was truly touched by that day, and now forever, was a a group of people — strangers — knowingly writing to something that could not write back. I will carry this with me all of my days.

“You first escaped your enclosure during a tough time for me, when I was battling crippling depression before getting the right treatment. You got me out of my apartment when getting up was the last thing I wanted to do. Seeing you peacefully rest in your tree turned the worst days around.”

“The first time I saw you in the North Woods last February I could have watched you for hours and hours.”

“You were always invisible at first, even when I was looking straight at you … we’d watch you come slowly awake, do your morning routine … you would hop to a different branch, unfolding a mechanical marvel of flight gear … I wondered what you were thinking about in those moments, what you made of the people watching you quietly from below — mutual silence. And then when you got the inspiration, you would fly off into the dusk … My heart would break a bit when you called out, because I knew there would be nobody to call back. I wonder if you knew it too? … I loved the story of your release — nobody thought you could live, but you thrived in the city.”

"Flaco, I love you, and I am so glad you got to experience freedom."

“You visited my window once and you lighted on the building across the way. Your feathers were of an artistry that a human could never create.”

“I was riding a Citibike in Central Park, saw some paparazzi (aka birders and fans) with their cameras pointing up to this tree, and pulled over because I knew that meant there was something cool to see. When I saw you and learned your story, it was cooler than I could have imagined.”

As always, thank you for reading. I’m so happy you’re here. Since last letter was paywalled, I’m including the recs from that letter below. See you at the bottom!

I basically live on Broadway, and I will for as long as I’m in New York. Boop! Good Night, and Good Luck! Othello! If you want to be mildly entertained by an easy-going rom-com or a female-led action thriller: Picture This with Bridgerton’s Simone Ashley and G20 with Viola Davis are both on Prime Video. Seth Rogan’s The Studio on Apple TV is gold (Four words: episodes two, six, seven) and Jon Hamm’s Your Friends & Neighbors is intriguing enough that it keeps me coming back. A friend told me to watch Kwame Onwuachi’s episode of Chef’s Table and it is art. I truly cannot recommend it enough, and it may be one of the best things I’ve watched this year. Dan and I (okay, me) were almost in tears! In theaters, DROP was perfect “middle school movie theater fun” vibes and Sinners … Sinners is my first must-watch film of the year. Oh — and I finally finished Girlfriends :-’)

There are so many legendary artists I have never really, truly listened to. So every month I’m looking to “experience” a new artist by listening to their discography all the way through. Right now I’m experiencing Sade and my life … it’s changed! Also been listening to old Hozier, new Gaga, and anything LySaundra Janeé recommends in Tuned In with LySaundra Janeé. (Lots of coffee house R&B, smooth jazz, and Afro beats.)

This month I took a scene and dialogue writing class taught by Kelly Sather, and we read Safekeeping: Some True Stories From A Life by Abigail Thomas. Where has this book been my entire life?

1. Heels! I’m taking a six-week dance class and it has been beyond delightful! It’s enlightening. “Heels” dance is not just sexy, music video style dancing. It’s so technical in ways I didn’t realize. Where your weight is at any given moment, the angle of your toes, the silhouettes, straight legs ALWAYS. I feel more like I’m in an army boot camp and I am PLEASANTLY surprised!

2. Nothing new. Newsletters, ads, and even friends are always recommending new products — a new face serum, a new coat, a new purse. But I’m practicing the habit of not buying something if A) I already have it, and B) it’s working for me just fine. If I’m happy with it, I don’t need to change it in the present moment. (E.g. I already love my mascara — I don’t need to try a new one because someone else loves theirs, too!) That’s what I’m telling myself at least…

3. But if it is… I add the link to a note in my phone and I don’t let myself buy it until the end of the month (like these…and these, omg) with money leftover in my discretionary budget. Hehe.

⊛ The Story Behind the White House Digital Model on ‘The Residence’

⊛ The True Hero of ‘The Residence’: Isiah Whitlock Jr.’s Chief Larry Dokes

⊛ The Story Behind Those Incredible ‘The Residence’ Opening Credits

By learning how to manage your nervous system, you will understand that not every problem is your problem to solve or honestly to care about. You have a limited amount of energy that you can use every single day, and choosing outrage as the primary way that you use your energy is only detrimental to you. I believe that joy is the revolution and finding pockets of joy every single day, regardless of what is happening in the external world around us, is the only way to survive. -Justin Shiels

Thank you again for reading, sweet friend. Ciao for now. 🤍

Hi there! My name is Mia Brabham Nolan and I’m a writer by day and by night, currently living in New York City. I write In Deep with Mia Brabham Nolan, the entertainment, music, and culture Substack newsletter. I’m on Instagram @yourstrulymia. Leave a comment with your thoughts or saying hi and I’ll always respond. Thanks for reading :)